There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
