So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
