I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
