Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
