Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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