i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
