a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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