? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
