Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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