i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
