Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize