all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
