I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think my fart just growled at me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
