Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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