Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
