she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
