I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
