dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
