Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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