bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
