you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
