i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
