Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
