He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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