Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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