the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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