I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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