I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
