Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
