I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize