your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize