I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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