i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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