You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
