Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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