My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
