You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
