I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
