what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
