I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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