I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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