what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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