How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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