i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
