ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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