she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
