I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize