Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I could fuck to npr.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
