After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
