just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
COCAINE IS GR8
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
