So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize