i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
