What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
