Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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