Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
